You can turn to Reality TV again for another lesson in leadership development. Last Sunday’s episode of Celebrity Apprentice – the one where NeNe Leaks, from Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, blows up at Star Jones, former talk show host from the View,
before the challenge even began. And if you are not watching this – it’s important to know that they are on the same team and NeNe was to be the Project Manager for this challenge.

Here’s the 3 Lessons I took from this week that can impact the way in which you lead – whether it’s on campus or in the boardroom.

1. Emotional Intelligence Matters. Leaders who cannot control or manage their emotions effectively have a tougher time in leading others. This was the case with NeNe. What you say and HOW you say it does matter to the group. The inability to manage your impulse control has a negative impact on team performance and team dynamics. For leaders to effectively lead there needs to be an awareness of how this shows up – blowing up in front of a client is not going to allow you to lead your team to victory.

2. Ignore it and expect your team to pick up the pieces. Too many times leaders or managers ignore performance issues or issues that cause conflict. NeNe didn’t take any time to acknowledge the effects of her blow up with the team and expected them to just do “business as usual” and take her direction on the next task. Not a strategy for engagement or morale boosting! Being able to address conflicts and performance issues when then occur will allow you to build the respect of your team and set you up to lead more effectively.

3. Get Clarification from your Leader
Latoya Jackson had a meeting to follow up with The Donald after she was fired. She wanted to know why she was fired after performing well on previous tasks. She didn’t want to trash talk others or make excuses, she wanted to talk directly about her performance. Trump thought she had potential to contribute more. Because she didn’t just walk away – he respected that and gave her another shot, this time with the men’s team. You just never know what the conversation might get you. It might even be better than what you expected. Step up. Ask if you need clarification to something. And do it like Latoya, one-on-one and in private to allow the leader to save face with the group.

What increases the likelihood that your employees will jump out of bed and say, “Cool – I get to go to work today!”?  You can look to the research from any of the big companies to determine a course of action.

You can buy your employees this alarm clock that will get them out of bed.

Or.  I offer up 3 simple things to make sure you have in place that will enable your employees to get out of bed in the morning and fully show up.

1.  Vision. Where are you headed?  What are you about? More importantly, how do your employees fit into helping accomplish this – everyday?  Leaders need to be spearheads of creating and articulating the vision.  Great leaders are going to take the time to share this, and fold in how you and I contribute.  Everyone.  The person in the mail room all the way to the person in the board room.  Everyone!

2.  Competence.  Can I perform the tasks I’m assigned in way that instills confidence in me and my clients?  It’s about a great job-person fit.  Or better yet, Organization-person fit.   I love the stories I’d hear about Southwest hiring for attitudes.  Boil down what’s most important – the skill set you can’t give on – and go after that.  When people are competent they gain confidence.  Confidence leads to a higher sense of personal mastery.

3.  Clear R&R. When you can have a crystal clear understanding of roles and responsibilities you gain even a better understanding of what’s expected.  A set of undeniable expectations help employees succeed.  It also provides a framework for leaders around feedback, development and coaching.  What do we need to do? And for who?  Clear R&R plays a key role in setting priorities for the organization.  In a time when many are being asked to do more with less – stakes in the ground around what’s important is needed to drive the work towards producing results. If every thing is important – than nothing is important.

Well, there’s always the roll away clock.

Getting feedback can be vital to growth and development.  Many managers don’t give feedback (1) often enough, or (2) in a way in which people can hear it.  Some managers don’t like to get feedback themselves and therefore, when they dole it out their staff really don’t want to hear it.  As a manager, someone responsible for the development of their employees, it’s important to also be open to receiving feedback. Try using the Coach Approach to giving and receiving feedback.

Next time you have a one-on-one with an employee (I hope you ARE having these), and you want to give some feedback how about starting your conversation like this?

Let’s talk about the communications project you recently completed.  On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 low, 10 high) how did it go?

When the employee gives a number, ask “What would have made it a 10?” And then listen, really listen.  You might also be able to add your input, but this comes after your employee has had a chance to tell you some ways in which they could’ve made it a 1o.

Now, what’s going to make this dialogue even better is when your employee has a higher level of trust with you.  How do you increase your trust? Simple.  Start asking for feedback yourself.  And use the Coach Approach.  I heard a story from a coach who used this with his son.  He’d routinely check-in and ask, “So Johnny, on a scale of 1-10 how was I as a dad today?”  Gutsy, right?  Yep!  You need to be open to what the number is – and following up by asking, “what would have made you say 10?”

Ask the question.

Be open to the response.

And see what you might be able to do differently next time.

On a scale of 1-10, how useful is this method for you in getting feedback?

(What would have made it a 10?)

Now is not the time to be motivating staff with the mantra of the past. Do more with less. It may have worked the last time budget cuts and staff reductions occurred. It won’t work now. For many, the life has been sucked out in the forms of 401K dives, family members who have experienced job loss, and a huge net of low morale cast over the organization.

Try this on for size, “Do Less with Less.”

This messaging is not just about spin. It’s about re-prioritizing. It’s about being strategic.  It’s about Engagement.

This method of engagement is what your team can hear. And you have to believe it.

It means looking at the priorities of the organization and determining what’s: (1) Essential, (2) Necessary and (3) Nice.  During this time of re-prioritization, if everything is important then nothing is important. 

Taking a note from Dialogue & Deliberation, this is a process to engage your group and get the buy-in (and input!) around setting priorities for this new normal.  Start with these steps:

• Convene a diverse planning group
• Determine resources needed
• Create a clear intent
• Involve decision makers
• Recruit & train facilitators
• Recruit participants
• Inform the system
• Convene the event
• Follow up & follow through

The purpose behind this is to strengthen relationships while generating innovative solutions.  Solutions that involve and inspire your group.

More than ever your team needs to be involved – and by all means, avoid asking (or telling) them to do more with less.  This will be the straw that cracks that back of the team.