A life that is best described:  Juicy?

Create Your Juicy Life is a practical, hands-on approach to creating just that – a life that is full, ripe and delicious!

For a limited time, I am offering the first section of this new book online to you FREE.  Simply complete the contact form with your name and email and I’ll gladly send it your way.  I can’t wait for you to start designing YOUR juicy life.

In this book, you will be provided with exercises to create your juicy life.  Take stock of your current reality – and then CHOOSE.  Notice. and Act.

This book is great if you are feeling stuck, need a nudge, or just want to experience more joy in your life.

If you could get more JOY in your life – what might that be like?  Well, now you have some practical tools to use to answer the question – and EXPERIENCE the answer.

I typically start my workshops off with some sort of goal setting by the participants.  I’ll ask individuals to set a goal they have for themselves as a result of attending the session.  My intention is to have them answer the dreaded what’s in it for me question.

I have the participants write this down on a 3×5 card or a giant post-it. Something they can keep in front of them during our time together.  After they have completed this, I then follow it up with these simple instructions:

“Now, listen for this as the content of the workshop starts to unfold.”

This simple instruction can create a filter, a perspective, a point of view in which to hear everything from.  It’s the easiest – and quickest – way for me to get learning to stick for individuals and tie back into the goal they have created for themselves.

When we start to LISTEN FOR something, we start to make connections.  We also start to be engaged as learners.  As learners we start creating meaning for the content that is being shared.  It’s when learners can create context and relationship where real change in performance can occur.

So, what are you listening for today?

I believe this video teaches us two important lessons on engagement.  Take a look what do you see that relates to engagement here?

1. Provide clear direction.  This was accomplished through rehearsal and practice, by the some 20,000 who chose to participate in kicking off Oprah’s 24th season.  When people are provided a clear sense of direction it’s amazing what can be accomplished.  In the workplace or on the streets in Chicago.
2. Co-create with your group.  This one I think is the biggest lesson.  After viewing an interview with the director of the video, it was clear that the Black Eyed Peas put ego aside to co-create.  In a typical rock concert the spot light is on the stage.  Here the spot light extends all the way down Michigan Ave.  They let the audience in.  They let the audience be part of the show.  Takes a confident leader to allow this, don’t you think?

Research from the Corporate Leadership Council suggests that by simply providing a clear direction to the goals of the organization can yield an increase in up to 34% in effort.  What do you think the impact to engagement is when people get to be part of the “show” and co-create with their leaders?

Think about one of the last really great conversations you had.

• Who was it with?What did you talk about?
• What connections were generated or fused together?
• How did you feel afterwards?
• How about during?

There are a variety of Great Conversations that can take place. Presented here arethree most common to work and careers. The first is often the easiest to avoid.

The Difficult Conversation.

How do you eat an elephant? You start by taking the first bite. That’s what you need to do in a difficult conversation. Take the first bite – not literally, that’s not going to accomplish anything. But, you do need to start some place. When faced with a difficult conversation, your place in the conversation is essential to its outcome.

Do you come from a place of fear? A place where you feel attacked, unsure of what’s next or even betrayed? It’s easy to throw up the defensive coat of arms and ready yourself for battle, again, that will get you no where.

Your place must come from curiosity. A desire to seek and understand.

According to Ed Batista, a leadership coach from Stanford University, there are 4 tips on starting the difficult conversation.

1. Start with something positive. This will ensure that you lead with your best foot and connect with the other person.
2. Use “I” statements to express your perspective and your feelings. Starting from the place of curiosity will help you uncover the many facets of the possible “truth” in question.
3. Don’t make assumptions about the other party’s perspective. (They may not even be aware that there’s a problem, or it may not be their fault–and they may be happy to help solve it if they’re approached in the right way.)
4. State your request clearly, firmly and politely. (And acknowledge any concessions that are granted.)

The Networking Conversation.

I had a chance to meet Harvey Mckay, the networking guru, last summer. This is a man who knows (and teaches!) the art of creating Great Conversations through networking.Networking isn’t just about shaking hands and exchanging cards. It’s really about relationship building. Conversation is about relationship building. Mckay asserts that the time to dig your well (build your network) isn’t when you are thirsty (looking for a job) but now. Engaging in the Networking Conversation is simple. It’s about making connections with people you want to know. These may be people who are able to help you in the next phase of your career. Moreover, they are people that you are creating relationships with through the art of conversation.

The Networking Conversation has a simple formula: Ask. Listen. Share.

When you meet someone, ask a question that allows them to start their story. This engages the person and allows them to share what’s important to them. “How did you get started in your field?” “What do you enjoy most about the work you do?” “What’s the secret to your success?” People enjoy sharing their stories. After you’ve heard their story, it’s time to share a bit of yours. Here, and only here, is when the more-than-formal ritual of the “card exchange” occurs. This is your pass to continue the Networking Conversation and build the relationship even further. Be sure to ask how and when you should follow up.

The Development Conversation.

This conversation is about enhancing your current job skills, knowledge or abilities.Too often, we become complacent in our daily work routines. To keep engaged and build your skill set, seek out new opportunities within your current job to keep you moving along your career path – these are referred to as development activities.

Before initiating this conversation with your manager, have a keen sense of where you are AND where you’d like to be. Identify work related interests that you would like to enhance and that will contribute to the mission of the organization. The Development Conversation is about building on the skills you already have.

To help you prepare for this conversation, take a few minutes to complete these questions:

• What future career related goals do you have?
• What are your current strengths related to the work you do?
• What areas or skills would you like to further enhance or develop?
• What action steps would help you accomplish this?
• At the end of the year, how will you benefit from these development activities?
• How will your organization benefit?

Once you have reflected on these questions, have the Development Conversation with your supervisor. Follow these simple steps:

1. Set up a meeting with your manager. Ask for an hour to discuss development opportunities.
2. At the meeting, clarify with your manager, the goals and priorities for the department over the next year or two, and how you fit into this vision or plan.
3. Describe to your manager the skills that you would like to build on, and ask for help in finding ways to link your career goals to the vision of the department.
4. Together, identify appropriate opportunities that would get you closer to achieving your goals.
5. Set up a time to revisit your progress and get input from your supervisor along the way.

Here are a few more resources to help you initiate Great Conversations in your workplace:

Crucial Conversations by Peterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler

Initiating Difficult Conversations

Tools from Harvey Mckay

Relationships at Works

* originally posted to my blog at http://whaddyathink.wordpress.com back in Feb. 2008

“I need to be totally engaged! For me this is about setting goals in the beginning of any learning program – classroom, self help CDs I listen to in my car – What do I truly want from this experience. I need to engage not just my mind, but the body. Get up moving. Try it out. Experiment. Run around – if applicable. Lastly, I need a group or cohort. Someone to bounce ideas off of, learn from and challenge my thoughts on ideas. This is key for me – both as a learner and facilitator. I believe the CONTENT of learning is created by the participants. With this belief, as a facilitator, I try to model what I need and encourage others to tell me what they need. This is where the juicy content and learning emerge. And then…it sticks!”

How do you learn?  What engages you?

Sparked to think about the question again. 

Actually.

Inspired to think.

After seeing his recent article in FastCompany – inspired to Act.

Now might not be the time to dream this dream. Be thankful you got a job, right? That’s one way to look at it. Ever think there might be another way?

Perhaps these three points from Po’s article might give you a glimpse into Another way to see it:

1. “Your responsibilities are not keeping you from your purpose, they are part of your purpose, often the very most important part.”

My responsibility to:  myself, the work, the people, the organization. My contribution.  This is what gives it purpose.  

2.  Your calling does not always mean you spring out of bed on Monday and run off to work. 

This is what I like about Po’s book (and article) it’s a no-nonsense approach to life.  There will be the good.  There will be the bad.  Overall, can you find commitment and energy in the work you are doing? Can you find satisfaction in what YOU are contributing? 

3.  Don’t fool yourself. 

I hear this as “don’t let yourself off the hook”.  We’ve all made life too easy at times, resigning yourself to not even tackling the question is a cop-out. Your purpose, passion, zest – isn’t going to come out and jump right in front of you.  There are going to be odd, maybe unknown experiences that have the potential to really transform you.  Your efforts to not just write this situation off as “too hard” is needed. Proceed with caution.  Scrap that…run full-blast at this one!

Bottom line:  This IS the time to entertain this question.  It’s also the time to read this book.  Or, re-read it again!

✓ Clarity

✓ Communication

✓ Career

✓ Collaborate

✓ Confidence

I wanted this workshop to be geared towards employees. Employees who after a quick shot of 45-minutes could control their own Engagement and not have to rely on whether or not their manager was going to do something.  Yes, I do believe that managers/supervisors play an important role.  AND, I wanted to give some options – choices – to employees.  With choice, one can feel empowered! That was my aim for the session.

The X Model

I introduced the X-Model from Blessing White. I’ve gone to this well a number of times for really great resources on Employee Engagement and Leadership Development.   The model depicts an apex, or overlap where the organization and individual are getting their goals met.  This apex is where employees have maximum satisfaction and organizations see maximum contribution.  Cool view if you can get to the apex.

What might you do to get even closer – or stay in – the apex?

What can the individual employee do to take control of their own engagement?

The 5 C’s:

Clarity.               Clarity in your role and responsibility within the organization. How does the work you do on a daily basis contribute to the mission of your organization?  How does your unit contribute to the overall mission of the organization?  Asking for this clarity from your manager, if you don’t already have it is one step to take in increasing your own engagement.

Communication.          Regularly have conversation with your manager about your work and your department. This can be formal, like weekly one on one’s. It can also be informal, just stopping in to connect.  You might even think about your customers or other stakeholders – how have their needs changed in today’s world? Do they still need the service – or experience – you provided them in the past? Or does something need to change to meet their changing needs?  Talk about it.  Get in it! This type of communication is important when it comes to engagement.

Career.              Find ways in which to have rewarding and challenging assignments, duties, projects, or conversations that will help advance your career – or that will challenge you to think differently in your current career. It’s about networking. Create relationships that you can foster and cultivate. In your organization and out.  Another way to enhance your career is by creating an Individual Development Plan with your manager.  This allows you to take control of your own career development.  It’s also helping with the second C (Communication) of Engagement as well.

Collaborate.            Research shows that when people can work together in teams they develop trust and cooperation; they outperform individuals and create relationships with each other.  These are key ingredients found in people who are truly engaged in the work they do.

Confidence.            Being able to develop in an area in which you are competent and confident creates a stronger sense of engagement with your work.  Ask yourself, what is a relevant area that benefits both you and the organization in which you can focus some energy around and increase your confidence?  The key is to find the overlap between your needs, wants, and interests and those of the organization. We tend to feel better about the work we do when we know what is expected and when we have the skills to be successful with it.

It’s about developing confidence, not becoming complacent.

When you look at these 5 C’s which one of these can you try on this week? Put your focus on this one C for the next couple of weeks.  Might it have a difference in your level of engagement?  I can tell you it’s not going to subtract from it.

In the times of budget crunches and work force reductions, I doubt too many managers have extra cash – or time – to be doing recognition programs.  And if programs had been in place you and I both know that these are the first programs to feel the purse strings tighten.

Try this on…Recognition isn’t a program – it’s a way of being.

There is no start.  No implementation planning committee.  It’s going to end when the last Kudos bar is gone. 

There is just you (and me!) and the way in which we choose to show up in the world.  Simple.  Hardly easy.

To incorporate recognition into your way of being there needs to be a commitment.  Every commitment starts with a belief.  A belief that it’s going to make a difference.  Think about that diet or workout program. To change my current habits, or way of being, I need to have a belief that going to the gym is going to make a difference.  Out of that belief grows commitment. So, do you believe recognition makes a difference in employee satisfaction? How about employee performance? (Hint:  the research says yes!)

I know, you’re thinking “people stop going to the gym everyday and fall back into old habits.”  You’re right, they do.  I do. This is due to my own BELIEF that this (working out) isn’t really going to make a difference. I lose my belief long before my commitment. This lack of belief, then, shows up in me sleeping in, driving thru, and not getting out to exercise. 

If you want to make a difference in the lives of those you work (and live) with, be different. It’s not any more you have to add to the to-do list.  It’s about your way of being. 

A simple thank you. A new and exciting work assignment. A time to spend with the kids. It’s the simple things that we can do every day to recognize.

What ways can you recognize someone today?

I’ve been reading lately about positive psychology and coaching and came across something I thought was quite interesting in helping to determine how satisfied with life I am. Seems there’s a correlation between the five following ingredients and one’s overall satisfaction with the life you’re leading.  Whaddyathink?

1. Capacity to love and be loved – the idea here is that relationships matter.  Most of all, who do you surround yourself with?  Do you have a close circle of friends or many acquaintances?  I look in my own mirror and see a small, tight circle.  This is something that gives me a connection and a joy for life.  It seems that once you reach adulthood it’s tougher to make new friends.  Sure, I pal around with my tennis buddies – and tennis has been that great connector.  Work is another place.  As an adult, I find that I need to have that common connection with someone to even start the relationship.  Not like riding my big wheel down the street and just looking for someone else to ride with, it’s a bit different as an adult. 
2. Curiosity. My mom used to say it killed the cat when I’d utter, “but why?”  Well, to live a life of connection and passion – curiosity is the soul that nurtures each of the nine lives of a cat.  The quest, or thirst, for more knowledge.  A new way to look at things.  Being open to possibilities – and not allowing oneself to “get stuck” can have an impact on the quality of life.
   
3. Zest for Life. This is the overall vigor you have.  Do you leap out of bed, full of energy and can’t wait to experience what the day is about to bring?  I don’t. I usually need a couple cups of coffee before I can jump and leap anywhere in the morning.  But, this doesn’t mean that I don’t have the enthusiasm for what the day brings.  And I’m not necessarily saying this is everyday – but most day, YES!  What’s the other choice, really?  If I truly get to choose, why wouldn’t I want to choose enthusiasm (more to come on this in Attitude!
4. Gratitude. A simple “thanks” for what’s been given.  Now Oprah made her Gratitude Journal quite popular a few years back – okay maybe 10!  What 5 things are you can you express gratitude for today?  (sunny day high of 70 degrees, no traffic on the way to work, a large skim latte with 2 Splendas).  By doing this regularly, I start to become even more intone with what’s happening around me.  Sometimes it starts small and other days – life altering events make the list.  Big or small, just acknowledge them all.
5. Hope. Simply put – is it half-full or half-empty? Each answer elicits a different response or mood.  I choose to be on the optimistic, future-forward side of things.  Why? Because I choose to be. Simple. The idea of having hope and looking forward gives me purpose and a sense to keep moving.  In a workshop I delivered yesterday, I heard one of the guys say, “Well, it’s not going to work why should I even give it a try?”  I was thankful I didn’t leap from my skin and scream “why not?” because the person sitting next to him said, “what’s the worse that can happen, it just may work. And if not, you’re not worse off, right?”  YES!

Which of these ingredients do you need more of to add the extra slice of satisfaction to your life?  Whaddyathink?

Today’s session provided for a really great opportunity to think about work and the choices one makes – or chooses not to make.  If we can talk about the difficult choices – like simply doing nothing, or choosing another job – doesn’t that empower us?  Empower us because we have choices?  

I hope that it does, because what I can’t hear, is “i have no choice, no matter what I do things won’t change.”  I don’t know about you, but this stops us in our tracks and puts us right back into that default future.   And then, yes, you get to be right – nothing will change.

Is that what you want? Not me, I choose to play a different game. One where the options – all of them, even the ones I don’t want to say out loud exist.  That’s the game I play.  How about you?