Become more effective and efficient as a leader and keep others engaged. Choosing where to focus your attention impacts your ability to successfully lead any group. Stephen Covey first introduced this concept of Big Rocks to me. The big rocks are those really important items to focus your efforts. Start big. To determine the Big Rocks you need to shift your focus from activity to results because where you put your efforts matters to the impact you and your group can have on campus. Are you focused on activity or results?

Activity Focused.
As a former director of campus life is was always about the activities. Providing leaders with checklists of tasks to accomplish, skills to learn and programs to bring to the larger campus community. An activities focus is about doing stuff. We’ve learned to foul ourselves that if we are busy; we are getting things done. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Being activity focused usually is accompanied by checking your email first thing when you get into the office, or wake up. And then we start to chase the requests and demands of others – running like a hamster on a wheel, we never move beyond just putting out the fires.

Results Focused.
One of my last years as director, I did some strategic planning with the leaders involved in orientation, residence life, student government and the program board. I gathered this group to create a set of values that could be articulated to other students of what was to be gained by being involved with leadership development on campus. This exercise allowed us to create a framework with meaning. We got really clear and crafted what the EXPERIENCE of being involved on campus was about. It was void of to-do’s and checklists. This shift enabled us to get at the core of what mattered most to student leadership. Our aim was now to create experiences that were driven by this set of values.

When something did not align with the values we were trying to bring to life, the program or event didn’t get funding. It wasn’t in alignment with the results we were after. Shifting our aim to a more results focus approach allowed the teams to become cohesive in there efforts – both from a people and money perspective. We were all providing opportunities for students that were in alignment with our values.

Make the Shift.
Use the 5 questions below to allow your group to focus on The Big Rocks and shift from activity to results.

• What is the experience we want to create through being involved with our (group, office, etc.)?
• What are the skills we want students (or members) to learn in the process?
• Why is this important?
• How do our efforts align with the larger college or university vision?
• What three words would describe what we are trying to create?

Have you ever wanted to increase your confidence and totally improve your results? Turn off the ever popular message of “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough” and switch your BS. Breakthrough thinking and success is a total mind game and the BS that we’ve filled our heads with isn’t working!

I was in a session with a group of 200 Welcome Week Leaders about building community – and in my ways to engage the group and getting them to participate I ask some bold, juicy questions. The first one I threw out to the group was “What’s the diff between building community and being in community?”

One of the WWL’s stood up and said TRUST…nice…and to reward some participation I reached in my bag to toss out a bright orange squish ball. She said “I can’t catch!” That’s all I needed to step into something and tackle the BS we tell ourselves everyday. 50,000 messages go through your head a day – most of those, negative. Unfortunately, most of these are subconscious and we believe the BS we tell ourselves.

I invited the woman to stand up – as 199 other eyes witnessed her fear – and invited her to say “I can catch!” I shifted my focus to the entire group now and asked them to watch her! I made sure she knew everyone was looking at her (as if I needed to point this out). Then I asked the entire group to laser focus their thoughts on her and BELIEVE – more than she believed in herself – that she too could catch what was about to be hurled her way.

On the count of 3, the toss was made. The catch grabbed. And the cheer of 199 fans celebrated a shift in the BS! The BS of our Belief Systems. What’s possible for you when you can switch the BS that clutters your mind and create a new story? A story where you BELIEVE in you like others in world believe in you.

3 Steps in Resetting Your Belief Systems

1. Recognize when you are in a pattern.What’s a message you keep telling yourself? The first step is to just notice the message.
2.Choose a new message.Say it to yourself quietly. Then say it out loud. Tell someone. Tell yourself. Keeping telling yourself.
3. What’s Next? With your new message in mind, what’s the next step you want to take with this new empowered belief of yours?

Now…go do that!
What shift will you make today?

“Life is an exciting adventure, or it is nothing.” Helen Keller had it right.  Life if full of rich, juicy experiences just waiting to be tasted. And I’ve been tickling my taste buds lately.  I call it The Juicy Life Project.

The Juicy Life Project is something that I’ve been exploring myself over the last several months.  I’ve been engaged in some really juicy conversations and creating a really big vision for my life.  These 3 questions start to unlock the keys to your real juicy life…

• What if you could have the life you’ve always dreamed of?
• What if life was full of joy, pleasure and pure excitement?
• What would you love to do if you just had the chance?

In the weeks to come, I am launching The Juicy Life Project.  The goal is that 1 Million people start to experience and live the Juicy Life.  This is where life starts getting really good!  In preparation for this, my intention each day is today something that absolutely excites me, makes me smile and brings joy to my life and the life of others.  So, I’m going to start practicing before the official launch.  You with me?

What would need to happen for you to say –  “I’m living The Juicy Life!”?

When life gets going I sometimes forget to celebrate my success.  I know when I take time to celebrate my success I’m left feeling inspired to achieve even more. Last week I had the opportunity to celebrate success with a friend and colleague I admire – Cathy Paper.  We’ve been able to work on projects together over the years, but more importantly we CHAMPION each other’s success.

Everyone needs a Cathy in his or her corner.  What makes this relationship a success is that we both inspire each other to bring our gifts to the globe.  We pick each other up when we seem to trip or get sidetracked. We also push each other – like that of a great coach believing in your when your head seems to be in a fog.

Here are five steps to celebrate your success & achieve more:

1. Make a date with your “Cathy.” Give yourself at least an hour to be able to connect.
2. Ask your Cathy – “So, what have you accomplished over the last couple of months?”
3. Write down everything she says on a LARGE flip chart-sized piece of paper.  This list is too juicy to keep it small.
4. Chime in & champion them if they seem to forget or leave out something because they might think it’s too small to celebrate.
5. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  Switch roles and celebrate more!

After my date with Cathy, I left feeling inspired, accomplished, and REMINDED…that yes, I’m getting the stuff done that’s allowing me to bring my vision to the world.  And then just this week I was able to accomplish more as a result of celebrating my success. The more we can celebrate our accomplishments, the easier it to keep going.

What successes do you want to celebrate?
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Jeff Stafford is a speaker, author and the founder of Orange Slice Training. He served as a Director of Campus Life for seven years and coached students and families towards success during the first year of college. As a certified coach, he also partners with students and parents to achieve the dream of college success. You can find more about his coaching programs here. To book Jeff as a speaker at your next leadership conference click here.

Being a student leader can be a bit of a balancing act with a need to juggle the multiple roles of a student leader.  It’s like that guy at the circus where all the plates are spinning and he’s frantically running around place more plates on the little sticks and spinning others – with the hopes they don’t come crashing down.  Depending on the day of the week you might be effortlessly spinning or running wildly around campus before it all comes crashing down.  Being a former Director of Campus Life – I worked with some of the best plate spinners.  In order to be successful in your role of leader on campus you need to master the 5 archetypes of a student leader.  Archetypes are like roles – based in mythology – they describe a specific image, character type or hat you wear as a student leader. Different situations require different roles to show up.  As a coach, I’ve worked with people to call upon different parts of themselves to accomplish the success they want in life.   Knowing which archetype to summons will allow you to get things done with more ease and create more energy for yourself.

The Scholar. 
We can’t have a conversation about student leadership without truly acknowledging the role of The Scholar.  Yes, you’ve come to campus to pursue and education, to develop the needed skills required to land the job of your dreams, and in the process learn the most important life lessons one can learn.  Being involved on campus teaches you the essentials of how to work well with others. It provides you with opportunities for reflection and self-discovery – two key ingredients to being a successful leader.

The other reason that The Scholar is one of the primary archetypes is because leadership can be taught.  You’ve entered into a Petri dish of life when you took on the role of leadership on campus.  This laboratory provides opportunities to challenge and support your learning as an emerging leader.  The Scholar is the type to look towards when you need more information or need to be reminded of what’s truly important. You, as student. You might need to learn more, experience more or connect with someone (like your advisor) who might offer up guidance when you are faced with challenge as a leader. Go into this role with curiosity to learn and experience all the lessons your leadership is waiting to bestow upon you.

The Dreamer.
This is the part of you that has the belief you can make a difference on campus.  It’s also the part of you to call upon to help create the vision of the organization with your members.  The Dreamer is about possibilities.  You might lean into this archetype when you need a drop of hope to help get things done.  Within dreams live goals waiting to be explored. The optimistic lens of The Dreamer provides your group with inspiration and attracts other students to want to be involved.  The Dreamer has an unstoppable will to bring about change for the betterment of the campus community.

The Doer.
This is the part of us that get the job done. When we shift into action we call upon The Doer .  As a student leader carrying out campus programs or events is championed by The Doer .  This archetype makes the lists, delegates the tasks, and gets to experience the results of carefully executed plans. The Doer loves to get things done and when we do, the impact we have on campus can be felt by others.  Championing the energy and zest of The Doer allows us to celebrate our successes because we’ve put in the work to reap the rewards. When might you need to call up The Doer in you?

The Socializer.
This archetype enjoys more than just a good party. The Socializer is essential in getting things done.  This part of us is able to network and build strong relationships with others.  The Socializer allows your organization to collaborate with other organizations because you have created connections on campus. It’s also The Socializer’s role to recruit new members and energy to grow your organization.  This archetype also has the ability to know who to connect and align with to carry out the mission of your group. This is also the part of you that focuses on relationship and not just tasks when you lead a meeting.  The Socializer invites you to truly connect with others and see the contributions they are willing to make by being involved in your organization.

The Actor.
In the center of the model lives The Actor. This is not about fame and celebrity, but focused on how you show up in life.  Your attitude. Your beliefs.  Life is a stage production and you have a role to play – how do you show up?  Each moment presents The Actor with a choice to make.  The true essence of leadership is built upon your character. Under pressure or in the face of difficulty, how do you show up?  The Actor is responsible for the attitude you embody and display to others.  Calling upon The Actor gives you the gift of turning lemons into lemonade.  The Actor is essential to all of the archetypes of a leader as it determines how you want to go about bringing that role to life.  The Actor invites you to show up being totally authentic, and in full choice of which emotions and attitudes to display. The important job of The Actor allows you to experience life in the moment and act as if.  As if your dreams and desires have already come true.  Imagine how life can be enhanced when The Actor is in the spotlight.

As the semester starts to ramp up and your role as leader shifts into high gear, who do you need to call upon?  What areas are you able to do with little effort?  Which role do you need to develop further so that you can become the leader needed to bring forth the mission and efforts of your members and organization?  Today, take pause and summons the archetype needed to help you experience greater success today.

Parenting a college student can be stressful and a bit overwhelming this time of year. It doesn’t have to be if you put to use these 5 tips for parenting your college student.
As a former college life professional, I’ve worked with thousands of students and families to help them prepare for this time of year. To make this adventure a bit easier, here are 5 tips for parents of college students.

1. Expand their vision. Ask them about what they’d like to accomplish during their first year. Talk about what to learn, how to meet friends, how to have fun. Anything and everything to get them thinking about why they are taking this step. The clearer the vision, the easier it is to choose the right course of actions.

2. Keep the helicopter on the pad. Yes, visit and support your student along the way, however don’t hover or swoop in to save the day. Asking your student some key questions on how they might go about solving the problems will allow them to figure it out on their own. Get good at asking questions and be conscious of doing it for them.

3. Lighten up. Having a kid in college might be stressful because you don’t know every move they are making. Trust in them they’re doing things right. Remember, you raised a kid who’s successful enough to get to college. Breathe.

4. Plan for the first year dip. Being successful in college is more than just getting the “A.” Helping your student manage life in and out of the classroom will help them with this amazing balancing act. It’s common during the first year for grades – and emotions – to dip as this is a whole new experience. Support. Encourage. Acknowledge.

5. Change the locks and throw away the keys. For the first few weeks encourage your student to stay on campus. While it’s normal to become homesick, one of the ways for them to overcome this is to develop a connection to the campus community. Weekends are where it’s at!

To help students be successful at college, I’ve put together a CD learning program that provides the tools and resources to expand their own vision and make the necessary choices to be successful during the first year of college. It’s not too late to parent your college student to success and offer up this easy to use program. Get one here.
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Jeff Stafford is a speaker, author and the founder of Orange Slice Training. He served as a Director of Campus Life for seven years and coached students and families towards success during the first year of college. As a certified coach, he also partners with students and parents to achieve the dream of college success. You can find more about his coaching programs here. To book Jeff as a speaker at your next leadership conference click here.

Freshman orientation can be an overwhelming process in some unchartered territories. After you have settled into your room, watched the P’s drive away – what do you do? Amidst all the uncertainty, you can still be a success during Freshman Orientation by following this simple 5-step game plan.

1. Go. The number one best strategy to be successful during your first few days of college is to go to the Orientation that is scheduled. There are going to be a number of opportunities planned for you to connect with other important staff and students at the college. The number one reason students don’t return their second year is because there is no connection. Connect right from the start and plug-in to all the people that you’ll get to meet.
2. Use the time they give you. During orientation you’ll have the opportunity to get your student ID pictures, you might have shuttles to do some shopping, or you might even get to take a shuttle an explore what the city has to offer you while at college. Take advantage of this time before classes start, once they do you may find yourself with a really packed schedule.
3. Meet people who can make the transition easier. Your Orientation Leader or your Resident Assistant are two key people to get to know. They’ve been in your shoes and now they are leaders and have lots of information to share. Take the time to get to know these two people really well. An added bonus, if you can take it is to meet a few key faculty members. This could be your advisor or an instructor.
4. Take a First Year Success course. Colleges and universities usually offer a FYE course or Freshman Seminar course. If this is optional, take it – not only is it an easy credit, but it is going to help you learn some tips specific to your college on what to do during the first semester to be successful.
5. Ask for what you need. Sure college is about being on your own, but you don’t need to be alone. If you are getting the information or direction you need, ask someone. During orientation everyone is eager to help new students get acclimated and become part of the campus community – take advantage of their eagerness and ask.

Freshman orientation is going to be a busy time, just plan for it. Use these 5 steps to be successful during freshman orientation and start this new adventure on the right foot.
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Jeff Stafford is a speaker, author and the founder of Orange Slice Training. He served as a Director of Campus Life for seven years and coached students and families towards success during the first year of college. As a certified coach, he also partners with students and parents to achieve the dream of college success. You can find more about his coaching programs here.

If you watched the last Oprah show yesterday – you were among the millions! Good company, too.
For the first segment, I know I wasn’t alone, when I thought she was speaking directly to me.

Do what you are called to do. Let your gifts shine through.
Each one of us was put on the Earth to channel that energy we have – positive or negative, it’s all just ENERGY.

I was working with a group yesterday on the topic of Employee Engagement. In that setting, I reframe energy, as “How do you Show Up?” When you get out of bed, brush the pearly whites and roll into work – How do you CHOOSE to Show Up?

There is a mantra I live by – “Live as if…” I’m not sure where I picked it up, but it truly stuck. It’s a guiding beacon for how I CHOOSE to Show Up. There is a big distinction between “Live as if…” and the dreaded verbiage of “Fake it ’til you make it.” I’m working with my coach, Jane Deuber, who is showcasing a light on the BE-ing of being an entrepreneur. Not faking our way and hoping no one notices, but BEING.

Not just semantics – a Distinction.

Fake it ’til you make it has the internal push against something not even I believe to be true. I go through the motions. Mostly unconscious, expecting nothing to ever really – or truly – change as a result. This deadly mindset trap also is rooted in a place of disbelief. Fake it ’til I make at it’s core is about somebody finding me out. It’s a lie – it’s not me at my authentic self.

Life as If…here is a world where my belief, and the actions I choose as a result – give me HOPE. A hope for something I am helping to create. Whether it’s a more positive workplace, a stronger community campus. Or for me, A World Class Tennis Champ. True. I love tennis. And I show up differently, when I Live as If. I choose actions that propel me forward with the gusto and desire to Live as If this was absolutely true. I bask in the glow of what the vision I hold for my future – the “as If” part – today, in the moment. Okay, I may not be playing at Roland Garros in Paris this week. I am choosing actions that support my desire and belief to be my best on – and off – the court. I’m living a certain way – one in which propels me TO something.

It’s when I’m Living as If – I start from a position in which my gifts are allowed to shine. My actions embody my gifts and my choice. My life is NOT one big polished tird looking like a diamond, waiting to scratched or nicked so when the varnish comes off – you see it’s a big tird.

Instead of faking it, BELIEVE it and Live as If.

I attended a workshop in Chicago yesterday with intuitive and best-selling author, Colette Baron-Reid. The workshop was based on her most recent book, The Map. In it, Colette guides you through the landscapes of our lives. The quest is to answer – or give light – to three fundamental questions:

Who are we? Where are we? Who are you listening to?

The workshop was a highlight of these three questions and a few of the exercises from her book. The first exercise took us to a place to create a landscape of our Sanctuary. This is the place in our life we feel most secure, alive and (for me) comforted. As people stood up to share and ask questions – what the conversation kept coming back to was the ‘value’ of something. We make up, or assign, a value – good/bad, right/wrong – to our experiences.

When we attach ourselves to these experiences, we start to clutter the mind. Lose ourselves in a spiral of emotions and get all “caught up” in it. It’s the story that we start to tell ourselves – and then, at times, we seem to forgot the facts and start to believe all of the things we have made up about that moment. That’s Our Story. For example, if I send an email to my mom and she types back, “Fine.” Tailspin happens. 40+ years of history, memories, images all give meaning to the four letters and the period that appears on my screen. And then I get caught up in it. Colette’s approach of creating different Landscapes in my Map allow me to access – and create – many different perspectives on the situation.

One technique to use when you find yourself getting caught up in it all – is to be able to call upon The Observer. This is you; taking a step back and noticing what is going on. For my email example, it could just be “Yep, my mom absolutely agrees with me – fine.” It could be, that she really wishes I wouldn’t, but fine. Or it just might be she’s in a hurry and those four letters and a period ended up on the page and she hit send. I don’t really know which one it is. But, I sure can make up the Story about it – and I start to collapse my story (and emotions!) with the Facts (the four letters and a period) and believe my story. This can throw anyone into that dismal spin of being all caught up in it.

Just notice today what other perspectives might you take on the events or conversation that get you all “caught up” in it. What else might it mean? What else could you make it mean? Moreover, what do you WANT to make it mean?

The more we can summons The Observer in our life, the more we can detach and not take everything so personally.

I’ve been doing some work with my coach Jane Deuber – as part of the Business Mastery Program. We’ve been honing in on our Mission. What am I put on this planet to contribute?

Working on my Mission Statement – something that explains my core…I’m amazed at once I have created the clarity around this I can’t ignore it. Opportunity is knocking all the time for me to LIVE this!

Creating Orange Slice Training and doing the work I do with students and staff in the areas of leadership development are defined by this Core. My Mission is – To shift the belief in others, that they too, can have the audacity to live a life filled with joy and purpose. A life where Possibility exists!

The Mission I have is rooted – and built upon the notion we have CHOICE in our life. Being able to uncover CHOICE with others is my work. Shifting your belief that you can have that CHOICE is what makes my heart sing.

And the Mission can’t be squelched. This week alone, I worked with two different groups where some of the conversation started to shift toward feelings of no CHOICE , no control, being stuck. It’s during those times we might believe – or try really hard to convince ourselves – we simply don’t have a choice. When in fact, sometimes acknowledging the CHOICE is hard. Like choosing to stay in a job that sucks the life out of you daily. CHOICE . Put up with It or Leave it Behind.

The economy hasn’t boosted back to employee’s having the pick of jobs – in some, maybe most markets, there aren’t jobs to be had. Still there is a CHOICE of Putting Up with It or Leave it Behind. If you consciously choose Put up with It – just acknowledge that CHOICE . There is no shame or blame. There is just a CHOICE that has been made. Today that may work. Tomorrow you might have to choose again. And no matter what you decide – YOU get to decide. I’m not debating leaving your current job and not being to find work is the best option – but it is an option whether you decide to take it or not is up to you.

If I can shift people to seeing OPTIONS – then it’s in that space we can BELIEVE in ourselves – have the AUDACITY!

I’ve become very clear in my Mission – and I love when it keeps showing up. It reinforces this is the work I need to be doing.

That’s what I’m up for – what are you up for?